SEEKING INNER VERSUS OUTER BEAUTY

I hear that there is a certain group of men from a certain region in Africa – who are at it again - denigrating women from a certain African nation (about the way the women look). Fellow sisters out there be aware and be alert! I think this particular group feels threatened by our collective action and voices. And we are not stopping! (and get me right, it's a certain group of men not all of them)

If you get a chance, any chance to empower yourself, do it. From what these men are saying and doing, it is clear that no-one is going to do it for us. None but ourselves. Without saying a lot, and moving forward here is a 10-point plan to get us going in 2014 – I have a 21-point plan in my forthcoming book;

1. If your life seems complex and you want to understand what's going on, stop and think, then break it down into phases. A solution might come out of that.
2. Seek help if you can.
3. Learn from your mistakes.
4. Learn something new – a skill, language, a certain subject - be informed. Take a step.
5. Change for the better – everyday - Make small manageable changes.
6. Use your potential – start with what you have.
7. A form of faith does help sometimes.
8. Know that culture – any culture - is dynamic (we are no longer in the stone age!)
9. Teach your child /ren - if you have any – from a tender age. Don't wait till its too late.
10. Count your blessings – do not moan all the time.

With the response I have had so far - the dialogue, more enquiries about the book 'Being A Woman In Africa,' and about my story, book purchases, donations to charity etc - I am one happy African woman! I'm glad the message of EMPOWERMENT is spreading like veld-fire, thousands from all over the world have read or are reading my book - thank you readers in the USA, UK, Germany, Russia, Sweden, Switzerland, Brazil, China, Taiwan, South Africa, Kenya, India, Canada, Netherlands, Norway, Poland, Australia, France, Taiwan, Zimbabwe and in new territories. Thanks to Writers' and Readers' groups who are spreading the message. Couldn't be happier!

************

Through this post I am making a special appeal to African women wherever you read my posts from - women who are feeling trapped in one way or the other, please seek help as soon as possible. I'm not a counsellor but if there is anything bothering you related to domestic violence, rape, sexual abuse, physical, emotional, psychological or economic abuse, child marriage etc PLEASE SEEK HELP.

Wherever you are, if you suspect that such things are happening to someone you know please help the person concerned. Speak with them or report the case.

Here are a few organizations in Zimbabwe which could be of some help;

• Your local Church Pastor - if he / she understands such issues – not that infamous one with 11 wives!!!!!!!
• New Start Centres in Zimbabwe
• Musasa Project in Harare – and other centres were you can just walk in to look for information or for a chat
• If anyone knows of any similar organizations, please drop me a line or pass on the information to the person concerned

************

Please do get in touch if you need further information - on my twitter account, facebook page or via the Charityhope Trust website, or on about.me/ruth.pink. Thanks to all men (and women) who are reading and are dying to read my book. More info. is on the above sites.

I will be looking for INNER rather than OUTER beauty in 2014 and beyond. Let's count all our blessings - especially 2013 blessings! In the meantime enjoy the remaining festive season to the max.

Ruth Pink xx

BEING A WOMAN IN AFRICA

'KWA MARABU'

If something really traumatic happens in your life, small problems will not shake you, take it from me. As I speak today, small things do not shake me. That is who I am today, I get inspiration from positive-thinking people and out of every situation I dig deep for something positive from it.

I wrote about some of the traumatic things I experienced (in the book 'Being A Woman in Africa). If you follow Rosewitta closely, maybe you will learn more about the real life 'me.'

It doesn't matter who you are – educated, uneducated, rich, poor, high or middle class (this class thing is an English thing. I strongly subscribe to the fact that class structures are social constructs. So to me classes do not exist, but exist in people's minds). Some life experiences can take you to the rubbish dump. We call it 'kwaMarabu,' in Zim lingo. So at one time, I was there, 'kwaMarabu,' scavenging - in a figurative sense. I saw that I was going downhill – 'kumawere.' I had to dig deep to salvage myself. I sought inspiration from anyone and anything – young boys and girls, from the good Pastor, from nature – from anything. I read the Bible from cover to cover, I became what they call 'a Bible-basher.' The recovery was slow and painful, but somehow my self-taught methods worked.

After all this, I'm glad to say my life has completely changed after realizing that “life is short,” to be negative - see page 112 of 'Being A Woman in Africa.' This is one good lesson that life threw at me and a message contained in my book.

********

With the response I have had so far - the dialogue, more enquiries about the book and deeper questions about my life story, book purchases, donations to charity etc - I am one happy African woman!

Please do get in touch if you need further information - on my twitter account, facebook page or via the Charityhope Trust website., or on about.me/ruth.pink. My book is available on this e-bay for charity link:-

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=291010233402 

I will probably have one more post before the end of year. Let's count all our 2013 blessings! In the meantime enjoy the festive season to the max. Don't drink and drive!

Ruth Pink xx

EXTRACT FROM MY FORTHCOMING AUTOBIOGRAPHY...

(My husband had passed away the previous day and we we were preparing for his funeral......)

The following day as relatives and friends gathered around me to deal with the shocking news, my world turned literally 'blue' and was going round and round around me. The 22^nd of September was a different day, different from all other days. The sun dawned from the west, and everything all just seemed mixed up. This death was a mix up. There must have been a mistake somewhere, as I was not really sure that this was happening to me. I sat there numb, cheeks in the palm of my hands, as I watched events unfolding yet again. I did not feel an urge to cry, because 'surely this was not real.' I saw close relatives and friends coming to console me, wailing in disbelief at the top of their voices. All I could do was just watch the world pass by yet again, wondering what was really wrong with me. My world had been shattered.

There is a story for me which ended on the 22^nd of September that year as my husband’s body was transported to his home village for an overnight vigil as is the custom, and for burial on the following day. As he was buried in his home village, this closed a chapter in my life as I pondered where I would start my next life chapter with all my expectations shattered like that. Although it took me time to recover, yet again I had to start to learn life lessons and start to live on my own, raising up a young child on my own.

This was the beginning of a new chapter and a new life. Life was not easy but I entered a phase of my life where I had to fend for myself and for my child. In that male dominated society, I now stood alone, bare and exposed with no-one to lean on. I was no longer in the shadows of my brother or sister. I no longer had to stand by a man as society expected. Although there were really sad moments after that I learnt to pick myself up to what I am today. I felt as is no-one, not even family members seemed to understand the agony that I was going through. I felt misunderstood.

We all need to re-new our thinking time and again

I write today from England because I managed to pick myself up. I had to literally start learning about life all over again. I vowed re-invent myself, and pick from that day onwards. And I had to do it all by myself. I couldn’t ask for counselling from friends or family who had not experienced what I experienced. I could not seek bereavement counselling from anyone I knew. When I lost my husband, relatives were with me for at most a week. After that everyone was back to business yet I was hurting inside.

In that situation I had to learn to console myself and to draw from what other people said to me. This is when I learnt that at times, in a society with few support systems, you need to learn things all by yourself, to teach yourself lessons from what life throws at you. It is not all about learning academically in the classroom and lectures rooms as I had done, we need to learn about life every day, change everyday and apply those life lessons to our daily life.

Seeking healing

Through out my whole life, I had grown up internalising feelings, whether they were of anger, frustration, hurt or bereavement. I was somebody who could only deal with emotions by internalising them. I did that very well. When we had something that we needed to talk about like growing up as teenage girls, the African culture did not allow us to discuss this openly. We did not talk about the changes that were happening to our bodies, (that tingling sensation that we all feel sometimes!) about having babies or how babies are made, we did not talk about death, or anger or happiness. We did not talk about falling in love, about having children, about family problems......... It was part of how we were socialized.

Each family member had their own ways of dealing with such emotions. I don’t know how other family members dealt with all these emotions, neither do I know the inner secrets in their lives, their hurts, what happened to them and that which they do not want to talk about. They have their stories to tell which are completely different to mine.

As life moved on, I discovered that I was not getting anywhere expecting anyone to carry my feelings with them. As I grew mature and as I gave birth to my child, somehow I began to understand life and death, that after life comes death. Everyone will eventually die. With maturity, I learnt the art of opening up to others, slow and painful as it was. I was now able to discuss some of the subjects that we thought were taboo. I began to talk openly about my bereavement. I asked myself hard questions and gave myself answers. I started moving out of my shell and I made a commitment to meet others. But this had to be gradual. I joined a Church, joined a group of friends and in no time, Church leaders started to refer young women to me – those who had recently been bereaved. Each case was tragic as it was different.

I was at a loss as how to help them. I had to find ways of helping them so as to help myself. At first I didn’t know how to. Soon I realised that for me to get my healing and closure to some of the issues from my past, I had to learn to help others. So I quickly learnt how to do this in very unconventional ways. I looked back and looked at all those things that I had needed that other women who had problems needed. Women needed a listening ear, I listened. Those grieving women needed encouragement, I encouraged them. They needed information as to where to go, I helped them with what I knew and signposted them to the right places. I encouraged them to ask questions if they didn’t know. I encouraged them to fill in any information and knowledge gaps if they had any, to pick themselves from where their late husbands had left them and start a new life. Besides this, I discovered that it was not only bereaved women who sought help, a lot of women came up with their problems. I really felt the burden to go beyond the boundaries that I had set myself. Women were caught up in poverty, some were in abusive relationships, some were not literate, some were single, some were bereaved, some did not have jobs. The multitude of problems was just too much. Through this, I discovered that I got the healing that I had never had, and in turn I could get further healing by helping others.

(This is an extract from my forthcoming autobiography ….so it's unedited and it's still under construction. If you understand where I'm coming from, I worry more about getting the message across than anything else. If you want to understand more about my life, you need to understand what's in my new book available on this link;

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=291010233402

or you can get in touch via my twitter account @lilac_ruth, via my facebook page or via the CharityHope Trust website

All the best

Ruth Pink

Archant Herts 24: View Picture: WHT_0634.jpg

Archant Herts 24: View Picture: WHT_0634.jpg  Author explores life out in Africa

BOOK AND CHARITY DETAILS:

BEING A WOMAN IN AFRICA

Archant Herts 24: View Picture: WHT_0634.jpgarchantherts24.newsprints.co.uk

Charityhope Trust

To help Charity Hope Trust buy this book via e-bay for charity on this link 

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=291010233402

for more information on Charity Hope Trust, visit them at;

http://www.charityhope.org.uk/

EXTRACT FROM THE BOOK:

HANNAH AND CHOKUNYANYA

Hannah was attractive, softly spoken and had a good sense of humour. Even at primary school, her parents bought her beauty products to groom herself and her skin glowed like a baby’s skin. Everyone wanted to be close to her and to associate with this beautiful girl. The school head chose her to be the face of the school because of her looks and good character, and Hannah did not mind at all. She was the one tasked with giving presents to guest speakers, to serve food to teachers on special occasions or to give garlands to the local ZPH (the Zenith Party of Human Rights) politician whenever he visited the school to donate money or books. In that environment, textbooks were gold to some pupils, as not every child could afford them, except the fortunate ones like Hannah. The local ZPH Member of Parliament was well respected for his generous donations to the school, and always won that seat at every election.

Hannah was the envy of everyone at school. Mr Chokunyanya was her class teacher and he was among the twenty-one strong staff at St Faith’s Mission. The rumours were that Mr Chokunyanya loved the women, and had tried it on with every single lady teacher at the school. He grinned every time a woman passed him. Mr Chokunyanya’s wife was also a primary school teacher who worked at a rural school, a hundred kilometres away from St Faith’s Mission. Mai Chokunyanya was a large, curvy, likeable woman, and schoolchildren used to gather around her like she was a spectacle. She probably weighed around 140 kilos, and was so curvy that the children used to mock her and say that a mug of tea would rest comfortably on her behind. Mr Chokunyanya seemed somewhat embarrassed to be seen in the company of his wife, as he was half her size and much shorter. Whenever they were in each other’s company, he would lead the way and move a few metres ahead of her, as if they were not together, and they rarely spoke to each other in public. The children whispered about this behind their backs. It looked like Chokunyanya was happier in Mai (Mrs) Chokunyanya’s absence, and this gave him the chance to see other women, or so the rumours went.

(In the Zimbabwean Shona language and in the book, Chokunyanya is a man who cheats (excessively!) on his wife. As his name implies, this cheating comes to an abrupt end, and he reaps what he sows.).............he did not turn up at the end of his holiday

"BEING A WOMAN IN AFRICA"
By Ruth Pink is available as
Softcover [6 x 9] 124 pages ] ISBN 978-1-4918-7957-3
E-book [124 pages] ISBN 978-1-4918-7958-0

The book launch is on the 30th of November 2013 at Woodhall Community Centre, Welwyn Garden City, England AL7 3XD

Also buy the book from Charityhopetrust and support their cause to educate African children. Their website is http://www.charityhope.org.uk/
Please follow the e-bay link below to purchase this book, 100% of the proceeds from e-bay for Charity sales will go towards helping Charityhopetrust.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=291010233402

WEDNESDAY, 6 NOVEMBER 2013

BEING A WOMAN IN AFRICA

NEW NOVEL EXPOSES MISOGYNY IN PATRIARCHAL CULTURES ....

'Being a Woman in Africa' offers firsthand glimpse into mistreatment of women........

HATFIELD, HERTFORDSHIRE, ENGLAND - In her new book "Being a Woman in Africa" author Ruth Pink draws on her childhood experiences to craft a novel that exposes the horrible treatment of women in some African cultures.

Rosewitta, a young African woman, is born and bred in a family and a society, which have prejudices against women. Her polygamous father is reluctant to send her to school, and he is violent towards her, her mother and sisters. She manages to get an education, but goes on to suffer sexual harassment at work. At the end, Rosewitta is the only one in the family who seems to have an opening in life, but at the point when success seems to be within reach, her husband dies at a tender age and she suffers further prejudices.

"My main goal is to create awareness about the problems that some women face today - lack of education, domestic violence, sexual harassment, rape, poverty and poor health," Pink says. "I want to motivate people around the world to take action and to think about the issues which come out of the story. Where possible - and after reading this book - readers should start making changes which help womenfolk, wherever they are in this world - big or small changes."

"BEING A WOMAN IN AFRICA"
By Ruth Pink is available as
Softcover [6 x 9] 124 pages ] ISBN 978-1-4918-7957-3
E-book [124 pages] ISBN 978-1-4918-7958-0

The book launch is on the 30th of November 2013 at Woodhall Community Centre, Welwyn Garden City, England AL7 3XD

You can also buy the book from Charityhopetrust and support their cause to educate African children. Their website is http://www.charityhope.org.uk/
Please follow the e-bay link below to purchase this book and support African children. 100% of the proceeds will go towards helping the above charity.


".....Absolutely amazing book. An engaging narrative that will leave your heart aching for the African woman's plight. I highly recommend it." Dr Mercy 


".....Absolutely brilliant..." Pauline, Hatfield, Herts

".....it makes beautiful reading." Delia, Stevenage, Herts


http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=291010233402

TUESDAY, 1 OCTOBER 2013

BEING A WOMAN IN AFRICA

BOOK DETAILS

Please get your copy on the 30th of November 2013, in Welwyn Garden City, Hertfordshire, or alternatively follow the link below:

http://www.authorhouse.co.uk/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-000569492

FRIDAY, 27 SEPTEMBER 2013

BEING A WOMAN IN AFRICA

BEING A WOMAN IN AFRICA

In writing this novel, I was inspired by the way I grew up in Zimbabwe. I struggled to get an education and I faced discrimination from school authorities just because I was a girl. This truly happened to me! (The headteacher said to me..... with the results you have you do not qualify to study 'A' level Mathematics, Biology and Chemistry – given the school you came from) Meanwhile boys with similar results to mine and girls from a 'better girls' school' (in the Head's eyes!) were offered the above subjects (yet the curriculum was the same countrywide!!!!!)

Even after qualifying for a certain profession and getting a job, I did not get equal treatment with menfolk. There were some men at the work place - always ready to undress you with their eyes and making nasty comments about female colleagues. (I always heard this saying that 'Men are hunters and women are the hunted' umm)

As I grew up, most women and girls suffered as I did, for some it was even worse. (The case of Sarah who was married off at a tender age haunts me up to today – it's a true story but I have changed her name.)

So in my novel (which is a very easy read) I write about these problems – poverty, education or lack of it, rape, abuse, poor health just to name a few. My main aim is to create awareness about these issues, and to get all you readers thinking!

This blog post is written in support of the work done by a charitable organisation called Charity Hope Trust. Find them onhttp://www.charityhope.org.uk

My new book BEING A WOMAN IN AFRICA will be available soon:

This novel will come in the following formats;

* 6 x 9 Perfect bound soft cover ISBN 9-781-4918-7957-3

* 6 x 9 Case bound hard cover ISBN 9-781-4817-9814-3

* E-book ISBN 9-781-4918-7958-0

The book will be available in October/ November 2013. There will be a Book Launch Buffet on the 30th of November 2013 at Woodhall Community Centre, Welwyn Garden City, Hertfordshire, England from 1600 hours to 2200 hours. Come and listen to your favourite speakers, and also get a chance to support your favourite Charity.

Pink Rose

SATURDAY, 21 SEPTEMBER 2013

LIFE IN AFRICA

LATER PRIMARY SCHOOL YEARS .....

In my previous blog post, you may remember what I wrote - I started my primary education at a remote rural school in Mutoko, Zimbabwe, in the early 1970s. The civil war in Zimbabwe had only just begun and no one was sure where the country was heading in terms of the war.

Most school children came from distant villages and were walking barefoot to get to school. Most ran the danger of running into 'Rhodesian forces' on the one hand or 'guerilla freedom fighters' on the other, in the dark and scary forests which they had to pass through.

I started my primary education in 1973. Two years after that my siblings and I left the school because the civil war had intensified. I left behind all my classmates who had nowhere else to go. I left behind Sarah and Rosewitta (names changed). Rumours were that Sarah had already been forced to marry a polygamous man from a certain religious sect, although she still came to school, and indeed she behaved like a married 'woman' at that tender age. One of my teachers liked and admired Rosewitta. He would send her to his house - to clean his house, cook for him; and wash his clothes and under-wear.

Years later, that remote school was closed. I don't know what happened to most of my school mates, whether they continued with their education or not.

*

At the new location, the ordeal continued. My siblings and I still travelled long distances, and on bare feet. We now had to pass through dark, scary forests and along the way we met insane people who always threatened us with violence.

Even though that region was much better (in terms of the climatic conditions and accessibility) life was still hard. The new school was still in a rural region. We found it hard to get the basic things of life – food, water, books, school uniforms, shoes, pens or pencils. Hardships were evident all over the rural landscape – every other year there was a drought, low rainfall and extreme temperatures. This was not helpful as most people relied on the land. During the farming season, when climatic conditions were conducive, we worked hard in the fields. The income from agricultural activities would help us pay our tuition fees. All this inspired me to get an education as I did not want to work in the fields all my life. I worked hard in the fields, and twice as hard at school. I had to make maximum use of the natural daylight to study, (fortunately there is plenty sunshine in Africa), only if I wasn't working in the fields or performing household duties.

At the school, the events which had happened at the remote Mutoko school, seemed to repeat themselves. One of the male teachers at the new school liked and admired one of his female pupils. (I will call her Ruva – flower.) He would send her to his house to do chores for him. This took a sinister turn and rumours were that something bad was happening to this young girl. No-one reported anything, no-one took action and no-one investigated. During that time no-one carried out criminal checks on adults who worked with young children. We did not know who was who.

I have a few questions though, 40 years on - or 33 years after Zimbabwe became independent;

1. Is every eligible child getting the education they need?
2. Is the quality of education improving – access to books, provision of good buildings – classrooms, libraries, sanitation?
3. Are criminal checks done on teachers who work in Zimbabwean schools today?
4. Are safeguarding policies and child protection in force in our remote schools?

*

This blog post is written in support of the work done by a charitable organisation called Charity Hope Trust. Find them onhttp://www.charityhope.org.uk

My new book BEING A WOMAN IN AFRICA will be available soon:

This novel will come in the following formats;

* 6 x 9 Perfect bound soft cover ISBN 9-781-4918-7957-3

* 6 x 9 Case bound hard cover ISBN 9-781-4817-9814-3

* E-book ISBN 9-781-4918-7958-0

It's likely to be available before the end of November 2013. There will be a Book Launch Buffeton the 30th of November 2013 at a venue to be announced. Come and listen to your favourite speakers, and also get a chance to support your favourite Charity.

*

Comments on the book so far;

“It is a very moving story portraying some of the sad realities that Zimbabwean women face. ….. Many will shed a tear as I did whilst reading it.”- Dr Mercy Nyawanza

“A very good story line ….. with an unexpected ending.” Monilola Ogundare (University of Hertfordshire law graduate)

“An intense and gripping read......... it brought tears to my eyes.” - blog follower on

ruthpink.blogspot.com

*

SATURDAY, 7 SEPTEMBER 2013

BEING A WOMAN .. ISBN 978 149 1879573

BEING A WOMAN IN AFRICA

 Rosewitta is born in a poor but very large family. She and her mother struggle for survival on a daily basis; in a society laden with certain cultural beliefs and societal imbalances. If a pair of knickers are considered a luxury in her immediate environment, how does the wider society deal with some of her other basic needs?

Rosewitta's story is narrated in very simple terms highlighting the daily struggles of women in such an environment. The story not only narrates, but goes further to explore how women manage to survive and at the same time raise very large families. After all is said and done, does anyone recognize this plight of women? Does Rosewitta, like all other women in similar circumstances, succeed in her quest for survival and recognition?

*

“It is a very moving story portraying some of the sad realities that Zimbabwean women face. ….. Many will shed a tear as I did whilst reading it.”- Dr Mercy Nyawanza

“A very good story line ….. with an unexpected ending.” Monilola Ogundare (University of Hertfordshire law graduate)

“An intense and gripping read......... it brought tears to my eyes.” - blog follower on ruthpink.blogspot.com

*

This novel will come in the following formats;

* 6 x 9 Perfect bound soft cover ISBN 978 149 1879573

* 6 x 9 Case bound hard cover ISBN 978 148 1798143

* E-book ISBN 978 149 1879580

- It's likely to be available well before the end of November 2013. There will be a Book Launch Buffet at a venue to be announced, and on the 30th of November 2013. Come and listen to your favourite speakers, and also get a chance to support your favourite Charity. 

*

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